Houston

So, I just got back from a weekend in Houston. I have always heard about the drivers there, and have even been there a few times, but after this past weekend, I firmly believe that Houston has the worst drivers ever. And if you don't agree, I will come to your house and cut you.

Case in point: we were driving along, minding our own business, when we decide that we need to change lanes. We are halfway in the new lane, when this jackass* decides that he needs to be in that lane right then. He puts on his blinker, which at this point is 2 inches from my face (I am in the right rear seat) because he has already started moving into our lane. In the next 2 milliseconds, these thoughts ran through my mind:

-That is a nice blinker...its got good color to it.
-OH MY GOD I'M GONNA DIE!!!
-How ironic is it that my arch nemesis, a F*rd, is going to be the death of me.
-I wish I had a Reese's...they're damn good.

Luckily we were in a nice, nimble VW Jetta, with reflexes like a bolt of lightning, and were able to jump out of the way at the last microsecond. Of course, this guy felt that it was OUR fault that WE were in OUR lane when he wanted to join US, and he felt the need to honk and give us the one-fingered salute. You know which one I am talking about. Yeah, that one.

Moral of this story, don't drive in Houston, unless you own an Abrams M1 tank.

*No kidding. There was an actual donkey driving in Houston. I had always thought it was a myth, but hey, even Democrats can get their drivers license.