A Day in the Life of Me

This is a typical day in the life of me:
4:00 a.m.----------------Wake up and do 10,000 push-ups and sit ups.
4:01 a.m.----------------Run 10 miles.
4:02 a.m.----------------Eat 4 dozen eggs, 10 waffles, and 5 pounds of bacon.
4:03-12:00 p.m.---------Save the world till class, then just in between classes.
12:01 p.m.---------------Eat 20 steaks, 10 potatoes, and 8 loafs of bread with jelly.
12:02 p.m.-5:00 a.m.----Save the world and finish my homework; work on Mondays, Thursdays, and some weekends.
5:01 a.m.----------------Go back in time to 3:00 a.m. and get an hour of sleep...then do it all again.

Now all of you know why I don't have time to do anything else. Of course, some of you are saying to yourselves, "self, you see Eric on occasion. How is that possible with his busy schedule?!" Well, you see, I have a twin brother. His name is Jacob. Actually hes not a twin. When I was 10 I decided to split myself in half so that I could be in 2 places at once. Turns out that I can regenerate lost body parts and now there are 2 of me. Whoda thunk it?

So yesterday I met up with Chuck Norris. We hung out for a while, save the world a few dozen times, shot some pool (we played pool with boulders cause we can), then drank the national supply of beer. Ol' Chuck can really hold his beer. Plus he has an awesome beer bong that holds thirty 30-packs of beer. Yesterday was an ok day. Today wasn't too bad either. No hang over or nothin'. I'm good like that.



DISCLAIMER:
You, (insert your name here), in no way endorse this story as being false. Anything and everything has the ability to be true and who are you to say otherwise. So quit being jelous of me and Chuck. Before you get roundhouse-kicked back to 1976. Yeah.