Ninjas and the Ninja Way

I was walking down the street yesterday, minding my own business, when all of the sudden 10 ninjas jumped out of no where and demanded my money and my chicken nuggets. Needless to say, I refused and started kicking some ninja ass. Those ninjas didn't know who they were dealing with. They figured "Hey, there's a guy with chicken nuggets and some money. I bet we can take them from him no problem since, you know, we are ninjas and all. Then we can go beat up old ladies!" "Yeah, lets do it!" "Lets go!" "Hi-ya!" "Kowabunga!" "Chicken nuggets!" Little did they know that anyone with chicken nuggets in their hands has the power to call on the chicken ninjas, who don't really do much except peck and scratch, but hey, they are great for distractions. So as I was saying, I proceeded to kick their ninja asses and ended up teaching them never to try to come between a man and his nuggets.

I told that story to make a point. We have an epidemic on our hands. There are far to many women drivers with cell phones. Now, I know what you are thinking, "what do women drivers with cell phones and ninjas stealing nuggets have in common?" Well, I'll tell you what they have in common. They are both a danger to society. One is trying to control the chicken nugget reserve and drive up prices and the other can kill you. I say we put an end to both problems with one simple solution. We build an island in the Pacific Ocean and put all the ninjas and womens' drivers licenses on it. I thought about putting the women on there too, but that would just cause too many problems. Like who would do all the cooking and cleaning? Not me, thats for sure. Like I said, too many problems would arise with putting all the women on an island. Anyway, my point is, women on cell phones while driving is a hazard to my health. And probably yours. So, lets start the erradication and gather up all the problems in the world, put them on an island, and forget about them. Seems like a good idea to me.