Remotes and Why They are Usefull

Remotes are usefull because you can be lazy.

Its that time of the week again! You guessed it...its get drunk by yourself night!! Everyone's favorite night of the week (next to buy Eric a drink night, which just so happens to be every night BUT get drunk by yourself night) is now upon us again, and I am going to take this time to give everyone a brief lesson on what to do and what not to do when you get drunk by yourself.

First off, play Halo or Halo on-line. In fact, play any game that you have. It doesn't really matter what game it is. It is a proven fact that you will play better after you have been drinking.

Secondly, (I've always liked the word secondly, it just sounds good) make sure you have enough alcohol to get as drunk as you want. Actually, this should be the first thing you do, not the second. So lets pretend that the first off and the secondly paragraphs are switched. Yeah, just go on and switch them, cause if ya don't, you might hafta go buy some more alcohol, in which case one of two things might happen: you'll either be too intoxicated to drive (never drive drunk kids, bad stuff happens, trust me) or the stores will be closed/won't sell alcohol to you.

Thirdly...ah hem, I mean...Thirdly, never ever ever call someone you like (unless you are already dating them, then its all good, they will understand). If you call someone you like, most likely you will say something that will be "not good" to getting them to like you. Trust me, drunk dialing your crushes only leads to devestating results. Hold on, I smell something burning...Never mind, it was just Scott making pasta...mmm, pasta...So yeah, don't call people you like, bad stuff happens.

Fourthly, (not sure if that is a word, but oh well) make sure you have food, because you will most likely get the drunk munchies. I know I always do. Makes me wish there was an Allsup's convienence store here, cause I could always go for an Allsup's burrito when I am drinking. Por que East Texas, por que?!!! Chips make good munchie snacks, as do hot pockets. Just an example.

Fifthly, if you are gonna call someone you like, at least tell them you like them and that you're drunk so they have some understanding as to why you are calling them at 4 am, waking them up, and rambling on about how much you love doritos and don't they love doritos too and you wish they were there getting drunk with you and all that crap.

Sixthly, I don't really have much else to say, I just wanted to see sixthly written out and see if it looks as wierd as it sounds. And it does. But it is still cool and you should all use it. Now go get drunk by yourself. And buy me drinks. Trust me, its a good idea. Adios.

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way responsible for anything you say to someone you like when you call them drunk. Nor am I responsible for the nasty drunk-food-puke that the night will inevitably result in. So just clean it up yourself you lazy ass.