This Doesn't Deserve A Title

Top Ten: What Girls Say/What Guys Hear (In no particular order at all)

10. I think I might be pregnant/Your screwed, start giving me money.
9. You're so sweet/Girls don't go for guys like you, which is why you should be gay.
8. You're soft like a pillow/You need to lose weight.
7. I can tell you anything/Yeah, you have no chance with me.
6. You're like the brother I never had/You're not cute, we will never date, buy my dinner.
5. Let's just be friends/Date? Us? Together? What will my girlfriends say?
4. It would never work/You don't have enough money to make me happy.
3. We have too much history/I slept with your brother.
2. You remind me of my dad/I don't have a problem with incest.
1. I like you too much as a friend/I know too much about you, and frankly, I'm disgusted.

Things Guys Don't Ever Want To Hear, Ever, At All

10. We need to talk...
9. Your dad's hot!
8. That's not how your dad does it.
7. Does this make me look fat? (trust me, no good answer)
6. Notice anything different about me? (again, every answer is wrong, cause face it, guys do not notice things unless they are gay)
5. Me and my girlfriends were talking and...(unless it ends with "and I think we should have a 3-some/4-some/etc...)
4. Have you ever had anything shoved up your ass?
3. Bend on over boy...(usually happens in prison, but you never know)
2. I think you should meet my parents.
1. You would really like my friend (insert friends name here), she has a great personality.