Light and other Bright Stuff

The powers that be decided it would be a good idea to put pepsi machines in our apartment complex. Ok. The problem is that they are located about 10 feet from our front door, which during the light of day, doesn't seem like a bad idea. The problem arises when night falls, and the glow from the machines shines like a full moon directly into our windows. I swear, its like we have a f*#&ing neon sign on our porch. Oh yeah, and they neglected to put a snack machine in as well, which is what we were all really hoping for. But the point is, not only is there now gonna be traffic outside our apartment 24/7, but now there is gonna be traffic outside our apartment 24/7. Which means kids, drug dealers, rapists, and old people are going to be walking back and forth in outside our home and we can no longer walk around naked with the blinds open. And we can't do this anymore because Mercantile Properties left a note on our door saying we couldn't. Something about "indecent exposure" and "a lawsuit if you fail to comply" and "we (Mercantile Properties) are gay and would be too distracted by your manliness and wouldn't get any work done" and a bunch of other crap. The poor girls next door, now they can no longer enjoy the shows we put on every day at 4 in our living room.

So I almost ran over a kid today. Actually, I almost run over a kid everyday, but they are too damn fast. You see, these kids in our apt. complex got a little motorcycle (you know, one of the really small ones you see clowns riding at the circus), and they tend to swap seats right at the entrance to the complex, which just so happens to be a high traffic area and one that I frequent, mainly because its the only damn entrance we've got. These kids have no respect, they go tearing down the sidewalk (the same one that now leads to the pepsi machines), stop in the middle of the parking lot, usually in my way. So we (me and my roomates and neighbors and friends) have taken it upon ourselves to rid the complex of these "rodents on wheels" by speeding up and giving ourselves points for each one we take out. So far I'm up to 45 points, but I hope to really increase my score this weekend, seeing as they tend to ride it more then anyway. But by the current standings, I am now in 2nd place, just 5 points behind Johnny "John John" Johnson.

And now for a public service announcement brought to you by Mercantile Properties, "Just bend over and take it":

Kids, we are here today to tell you the dangers of taking pain killers while drinking and driving. You see, pain killers enhance the effects of drinking, and they can impair your drunk driving skills. So you should only do it when under the supervision of someone taller than you are. Doing so will greatly increase the likelyhood that you will have someone taller than you are die when you drink and drive under the influence of pain medication. This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by the gay I mean great folks over at Mercantile Properties. "Mercantile Properties, just bend over and take it."

Well thats about all I have today, so until next time, keep the dirt red, the women hot and the beer cold. Adios yall.