Organs and Other Fun Anatomical Things

As you sit at your desk reading this and picking your nose, your body is doing many things that you are not aware of. Your skin, for example, is shedding millions of cells. Those cells are going into the air, the very air that you breath. And there aren't just your skin cells in the air. There are skin cells from everyone. So right now, you are breathing in dead skin from that nasty guy who never showers 3 cubicles down. Or that one guy in gym who smells like dead fish before he even starts working out. Think about that next time you take a deep breath. Mmm, you can almost taste him.

Right now, your brain should be firing electical impulses*. Those impluses do everything from make your heart pump to relay what that guys skin tastes like. And your sitting in front of a machine that has 120 volts going through it at any given moment. All it would take is for you to spill your giant energy drink on your keyboard to fry your brain and other fun stuff. Look on the bright side. You may never taste or smell again.

The heart is a, well, heartless bitch. Sure, it supplies blood to your body and keeps you alive. But it also screws with your emotions and makes you do things you wouldn't normally wanna do. Like buy flowers that someone else picked. Which are way overpriced. If your a guy, it has probably gotten you into a fight or two. If your not a guy, you have probably screwed with a guys emotions and left him totally useless to his buddies for at least a week. Not cool yo, not cool. But the heart can also make you feel all warm and butterflyery inside. Until the girl who has been leading you on rips out said heart, throws it on the ground, pours gasoline on it, lets the gas soak in really good, lights it on fire, puts out the fire, puts your heart in a grinder with some ice and yogurt, blends it until it looks like a strawberry smoothie, then drinks her victims heart smoothie and procedes to trap another man once she is reenergized. Then the whole process is repeated until she gets tired of ripping out hearts and finds a man who will give her everything she wants because he is a "nice guy" and she figures she can have just as much fun playing with his emotions as she has with all the other guys. Damn, I need a girlfriend. Later yall.

*If your brain is not currently firing electronic pulses, please have someone call 911 for you as you will not be able to do so yourself. Actually, you won't even be able to have someone else do it for you. Hell, you wouldn't even be able to read this. So never mind. Carry on.