Bored Post Numero...Who Knows

I've been home exactly one week and already I am extremely bored. I now remember why I chose a school so far away from home...home sucks. Seriously, I don't know why anyone would want to live here...at least not right now. Its so dry everything is dusty, and the static electricity is out of control!! 10 people have died and countless more injured because of static electicity here in the past month. Its so bad, people aren't allowed to wear clothes* because anytime an article of clothing is removed, the wearer runs the risk of being struck by staticosis**. Staticosis, for those of you unfamiliar with the occurance, is when someone, usually a person wearing a wool sweater, is severely injured or worse, severely killed by static electricity when they remove said sweater. It is a rare occurance, and is usually only found in places of extremely low humidity. And boy does it suck.

You know all those commercials on TV about cheese? You know, the ones with the cows that are apparently really happy? "Good cheese comes from happy cows. Happy cows come from California." Well, pretty soon those comercials are gonna say "Happy cows come from Dalhart Texas." Thats right, big D-town is getting a cheese factory. All the dairy farmers from California are looking for greener pastures, and they have found them right here in Dalhart. And this is apparently going to be a very big deal. The factory is gonna process 1 million pounds of cheese EVERY DAY!!! Do we really go through that much cheese?! I mean seriously, thats alot of damn cheese. Thats 365 MILLION POUNDS of cheese every year...from one factory!! I like cheese as much as the next guy, but come on! It made me wonder just how many cheese factories there are in the US, so I looked it up***. There are currently, in the US alone, 20 cheese factories. Plus the one that they are putting in Dalhart, which makes 21. Those 21 cheese factories will produce 7,665,000,000 pounds of cheese every year!! Thats 7.6 billion pounds of cheese for those of you who are too lazy to count digits. There are 295,734,134 people living in the US. That means each person must eat 25 pounds of cheese every year. Now, that may not seem like much, but if you break that down, that turns out to be .066 pounds every day!! And now I realize that thats not alot of cheese...****

For more information on cheese and its many uses, go to www.nationaldairycouncil.org/NationalDairyCouncil/Nutrition/Products/. They know more about it than I do cause they have even less of a life than me. Go me!!




*actually, I made that up.
**Made that up too, but it sounds cool doesn't it?
***I didn't really look it up. I just pulled a number out of a hat. Hey, all the other news services do it too ya know. Stop judging me. Judgy McJuryson.
****And actually, there are a lot more cheese factories than I thought. I went and looked it up, and there are quite a few. Most are in Wisconsin, which makes them losers, and theres a few in California and New York, but no one really cares about them anyway, so the only one that matters is the one being built in Dalhart. And if you don't care, I will come to your house and I will cut you.

Home for the Holidays

Well, its that time again, its Christmahaniquanzika!!! Thats right boys and girls, its time for long drives to the places of your youth, to be with your family and friends of old. For the first hour or so of being home, your happy, or at least content. You were able to get away from the hustle and bustle of college life. You can relax. But after about an hour and a couple of minutes, you start getting bored. So you go and hang with some of your high school friends, but after the first five minutes of talking about things you don't give a rats ass about, you start to wonder why you were ever friends with them in the first place. They never did mature, and all they want to do is hang out with high school chicks. That was fine when you were freshmen, but now its just sad. Grow up and find someone who is actually older than your little sister. Pervert.

So for all of you who have actually made it home, congratulations. I, for one, am still at my apartment waiting for the roads to thaw so I can actually drive home and not die a horrible fiery death on the side of the road after some dumbass who was going to fast sideswiped my truck and sent me into a spin, directly into the path of an 18-wheeler, who tried to stop but didn't have enough room. The firefighters tried to save me, but the fiery explosion killed us all. So now I'm dead. Sucks too, cause I had lots of plans, and now I can't do them on account that I'm dead and all. This really sucks!! I wanted to go skydiving and now I never can! Being dead blows man, really blows!! Oh wait, I'm not dead am I? Shit, I was scared there for a minute.

Well, someone is trying to make me feel bad, so I must go. Adios folks.