The World and Why It Hates You

Do you ever feel like the world doesn't care about you at all? Well, thats because it doesn't. The world is a cold, heartless bitch that has an extremely hot core at its, well, core. But don't let that warm (and by warm I mean burn you in less time than it takes to burn if it was just a little less hot) core fool you. The world is out to get you. Its sole goal is to make your life as miserable as it can in as many ways as it can. It'll chew you up and spit you out, squash you like a bug, chew you up again, crap you out, feed it to its dog, and then burn you just for the pure joy of it. And that is when it is indiferent. When it really hates you, like it probably does, well, I can't describe what it would do. Its that bad. You know that 400 lb. smelly guy a few cubicles down who never takes a shower or washes his clothes? You would rather get anally raped by him every hour on the hour than be on the world's bad side. It really doesn't matter though, cause while you are getting raped by Smelly No McShowerson over there (and liking it, which is just wrong, you sick freak), the world is getting pissed off at you for stepping on its favorite little stink bug.* You asshole. What did that bug do to you?! Not a damn thing, thats what. It was just walking along, minding its own smelly little business, when you came along, saw it, and smashed him into oblivion. What about his wife and kids? Bet you didn't even think about them, did ya?! Now Shelly is selling her body on the street trying to make enough to feed her 10,038 kids. Half of them aren't going to make it.** Good going you heartless bastard. Now you know why the world hates your freaking guts and hopes you could die a thousand deaths. Hope your happy.


*Little known fact: the world LOVES stink bugs. Science can't explain it, but its true. ^*Star flies over my head*^ The More You Know
**Half of them wouldn't have made it anyway, but your still an asshole.

Blinging it in the 1700's

So, you know all those gold teeth you see on the celebrities today...the ones who are bling blinging it all over? Turns out they picked that up from the fly guy from the early times, the one, the only, George Washington. Yep, thats right, Big G was blinging it way back then, before they had clocks that you could wear around your neck. He was sporting flashy teeth made of ivory and gold...doesn't get much more blingy than that. Oh, that crazy cracker, always showing off. First ivory and gold teeth, then his mug on money. Whats next, a giant statue made of gold and silver? Talk about into yourself...

So I think I'm gonna get me a flying car. I saw one on tv a little bit ago, and it looks pretty awesome. They won't come out until 2011 or so, which is good, cause its gonna take me a while to save up enough to buy it. It only costs 1/2 million dollars, so I figure if I save $100,000 a year, I'll be able to buy it in time. Now I just gotta find a way to make enough to save $100,000 a year. I hear bank robbing is pretty fullfilling...