Reese's are the Spice of Life

I went to the store the other day and could very easily have been killed.

Me and Justin went to Kroger to get some milk and stuff to make breakfast. While we were checking out, this black guy comes up to us and shakes our hands like we're old buds and calling us "playas" and the like. I didn't know the guy from adam and I figured Justin didn't either, so I pegged him for a crack head. When we get outside he starts tellin' us all how he was on his way back to Houston and how he used to live here and how he has a wife and a kid in college and he went to SFA and a bunch of other stuff I didn't really care to know. While he was talking Brigitte called, so I pulled out my phone and he musta thought I was gonna call the cops cause he said "Hey man don't call the cops on me. I'm harmless." and I go "I'm not, I've got a call." So I walk a little bit away to talk on the phone, and he and Justin are talking. When I walk back I hear Justin say "I'm with him (and he points at me right here), so its up to him." Well, I am wondering exactly what is up to me and why I am getting psuedo-volunteered for stuff that I have no clue what it is (that sentence makes little sense to me, but oh well). So the guy (I forgot his name about 5 seconds after he said it) goes, "Would you fine guys be able to give me a ride to my truck. Its over on Main." (At this point we are no longer playas, but fine guys.) I'm hesitant, cause I really don't feel comfortable picking up strangers at night and taking them to places where I could very easily be shot and/or raped. After this guy goes on for about 5 more minutes, I figure, hell, Justins with me, he's big guy, we'll be alright. So I say yeah, we'll give him a ride. We go over to my truck, and I get inside while they go over to the passenger side. At about this time I remember that I have both of my hunting knives in the back pockets of the front seats...right in easy reach of anyone in the backseat. So I ever so politely say hold on, let me move the seat up for ya, all the while grabbing one of the knives (which just so happened to be the bigger one) and bring it up to the front with me. The other one is still back there, but I was really hoping that it blended in well enough and that the guy was on enough crack to not notice it. So everyone gets in, and we head towards Main (aka Hwy 21...), but before we can get there, the guy tells me to make a right "right here"...not on Main, but on a crappy road that takes you (and in this case me, Justin, and the crazy crack-head) to the extremely crappy side of town. At this point I am wondering just how we are going to die and how many druggies I can take with me. We go for a while, till we come to a stop sign at the top of a hill, and the guy tells me to stop. I, being extremely ready to get rid of him at this point, stop, and notice a car coming up behind me. So I say hold on, let me get out of the way, and pull around the corner. So does the car. A very tense few seconds, which feel like weeks, pass, and the car slowly goes around us. Me and Justin breath a very loud sigh of relief, cause we are still alive. Then another car pulls up behind us and stops. Now, Crazy Crack Head is still in the backseat, saying something about money for some gas. I just want the guy out and gone, so I throw 5 bucks at him, and ever so politely ask him to leave. He says something about getting my number so he can pay me back, which I think is the worst idea I had ever heard before in my life. I finally convince the guy that he in fact does not need my number, nor is he going to get it without killing me. (I didn't say that, though, for fear that he might actually try.) So he gets out, says goodbye, and walks to the nearest house to tell his friends that a couple of idiots are outside in a truck just waiting to die. Me and Justin get out of there faster than the French during Hitler's invasion of France, just as 20 guys come out of the house shooting at us. I'm guessing they were all high, cause none of the bullets hit us, and we survived to eat breakfast*.

So, the moral of the story is, always turn in your homework on time, or bad people will try to do bad things to you while you buy food to make breakfast at night. Oh, and Reese's kick ass.

*No one really came out of the house and shot at us, it just sounds better.